Decisions

I’ve been wanting to sit down and write this post for the past five weeks, but every time I try to do so, I can never find the right words to start the post, let alone finish it. We’ve been through some hefty changes in the past month, all results of our decision to take temporary custody of our seven year old nephew. I will not go into details here as to why this was necessary, but the gist is that he was unsafe and not receiving the proper care that a child has every right to receive. We have felt that this was the right thing to do for awhile now, but as you can imagine, a life changing decision can be difficult to make sometimes, especially when there isn’t a set timeline for said decision. Once we both felt that this was what needed to be done for our nephew’s present and future, and focused on his wellbeing instead of our own, it was a little bit easier to step into such a role. Right now, we both find tremendous comfort in knowing that this is part of a plan and we are being obedient to that plan. Anxiety likes to creep in, but then we remember that even though we don’t know what the big picture is, we are doing exactly what we are supposed to do. Knowing this always brings a sense of peace.

We are unsure of how long he will be in our care. The first week, I could only look at each day, because if I tried to look further into the future, crippling fear and anxiety would take hold. The feelings of overwhelm were almost too much. So we took things one day at a time. After a little over a month, we feel more comfortable looking further ahead into the future. It’s not as scary anymore as the three of us settle into our new “normal.” Our lives feel more scheduled than ever, and sometimes I reminisce about how things used to be and having the freedom to go wherever, whenever we wanted. When that happens, I try to remember that there is a season for everything, and right now, this is our season. The best thing to do is to embrace it, because I know that this time with our nephew is truly a blessing and we don’t know how long this season may be. We have an incredible opportunity right now. We get to show him love every day now. We get to show him that he has choices in his life and there are consequences to every choice, some good, and some bad. We get to see him grow and hope that what he sees from us, he will remember and learn from, despite what his future holds. We have the opportunity to plant seeds in his life, and maybe, one day, he will sow those seeds.

When my mother-in-law and I enrolled him in school, I felt more overwhelmed than I ever had. I wondered, WHY does he have so many early dismissal days, and Teacher Work Days? Who is going to take care of him on those days? Why is after school care so expensive? As a college student myself, I was already struggling with working a full-time job while going to college, how in the world am I going to keep up with his academics, let alone my own? My husband had the same concerns, how can we run the daily operations of our business, try to expand the business, and keep up with this new responsibility of raising a child? All of these thoughts felt so overwhelming, and they still do. But we are doing it. We are adjusting and making changes along the way.

Our nephew seems to be adjusting well and I feel like he is thriving in our care. The dark circles under his eyes have disappeared, he eats three full regular meals a day, his eating habits have improved drastically. He is even willing to try new vegetables, which was a huge improvement in my book. His reading skills seem to be improving. He is pretty good at math! He told us he wants to be a scientist when he grows up. He has a heart of gold. We will continue to foster that, along with slowly teaching him new things, like a having a better work ethic, responsibility, and fostering his imagination. I pray that we can just be the best examples we can possibly be to him and that he will remember that when it comes time for him to move on from our household.

I know my thoughts are scattered here, but I wanted to get this up, for my own personal record of this biggest change we’ve taken on in our lives so far. I have so many more thoughts on this that I need to record, but that will be for another day. ❤